I have been on my personal development journey for almost 3 years now, and lately I have found more people being magnetized to me to tell me their story.
I hear about their battles with depression, and anxiety.
I hear about their desires to lose weight or be physically fit, but also the desire for the quick fix and not having to give up the cookies and wine to achieve the "dream bod".
I hear how their schedule won't allow for self care.
Usually during these chats I ask some deep questions...and the common denominator of each story? Unworthiness.
We self sabotage when we don't truly love ourselves. We may start on a health kick, but then the weekend rolls around and we haven't lost 5lbs in 5 days, so fuck it...eat the chips, drink the beer...sit and watch Netflix.
Take my story for example...Three years ago...I felt I didn't deserve the time to pour into myself. That was selfish.
Go to the gym????
You mean take 1-2 hours out of my day to do something to make me LOOK and FEEL better??? Preposterous!!!!! That was taking time away from my family.
But what I didn't realize was that my family was actually paying the price by me NOT pouring into myself. Not sleeping well. Anxiety. Partying. My thoughts weren't all positive, and I was constantly anxious about "what next" and "what if"...
I had NO idea that taking care of me meant I could take care of my children and husband better...that I had more emotional support to give to friendships...that I emitted a better vibrational frequency to the Universe, for others to thrive off of.
SELF CARE = SELFLESS ... mind. blown.
Holy fuck. I just cracked the code. It's just that simple.
Or is it??
Oh, sweetie, I wish it was. The truth is...the path to self love and worthiness also means you have to go back through alllllllllll the shit that you feel shame and guilt from. Alllllllll that dark shit you locked away out of fear of opening Pandora's box. It's time for it to come out. It's time to face every inch of you. To love, accept and forgive every inch of you.
That's right. Compassion goes a long way when you are finding your worth.
So you're wondering..."where the hell do I start, Shannon???"
There is no specific place to start, except to just...start.
Do something every day that fills your cup. Do something that takes care of your well being.
Journal. Meditate. Breath work. Yoga. Exercise. Read a personal development or self help book. Go on a retreat. Listen to a positive podcast. Eat healthy, whole foods. Hydrate. Stop negative self talk. Surround yourself with people who lift you up.
One habit is all it takes to START. When you start building a trust with yourself, and start listening to your intuition...you will feel nudges in what direction to go next. There is no other way to describe except that you will just have a KNOWING of what to do. You will feel called to try different modalities. Whatever your path is...listen to it.
For me...I started with walking and listening to podcasts or audiobooks...and that lead me to the gym. That lead me to a fitness challenge. That lead me to tracking my macros and eating properly. That lead me to journaling and reading personal development books. That lead me to a journey to competing (half way...then on to a new path). That lead me to following only uplifting IG accounts and deleting ones that didn't serve me. I went on a "life diet" - relationships, foods, and material things that didn't serve me had to be cut from my life. And no...that wasn't easy. Truth is, I did a lot of grieving. Grieving who I used to be, and grieving losses of what I thought I wanted, change of lifestyle, and ends of relationships. But also started to see my soul shine through..through all the fog of unhealthy "mumbo jumbo" that I called a life, my Truest Self started to glow...The grieving had curriculum in it. The Universe had to show me in a way that pushed me to excavate through the mud and plant the seeds to grow into ME.
Fast forward to almost three years on my journey, and I have NEVER felt more alive. For the first time in thirteen years, since losing someone very close to me from suicide, I finally feel like I don't have a hole inside of me. I finally, at 33, feel like I am who I am meant to be...or at least well on my way. David Brooks calls this the "Second Mountain".
These past few years have gone by in the blink of an eye. So when you think...I can't commit to three years of this...it's not as scary as it seems.
You start feeling better after a week, and even better after a month, more amazing after one year...well, you get the picture!!
JUST. START.
Read the books. Listen to positive Tik Toks. Connect with like-minded people. Dance. Workout. Live the life you deserve to live. Whatever that may look like. Because...you ARE worthy.
Joy is an inside job...and it starts with YOU. No one else is responsible for your happiness.
You are enough. You are worthy. You are loved.
We are all one. We are all specs of star dust from the same Galaxy. So...if you're happy. I'm happy. Joy is contagious. Think of it as "doing your part" for the collective. Raise your vibration so you can create a ripple effect, and pass it on to your friend, sister or neighbour.
Say it with me...I AM WORTHY.
Little louder!!!
I AM WORTHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's better.
Love & Light,
Shannon
xx